This week's "Games of the Weak" is brought to you by Terrell Owens. Keep reaching for the stars, Terrell.
Last week was the worst week of scheduling in the NFL. Upsets galore, where I ended up getting 8 outcomes right in an ESPN pickem' league. Can you believe that was the most in the league? I even beat Hoosier the Cat, Todd Addington's football-knowledgeable feline ... It's just been a very sad season for the Miami Heat. I heard they won last night. Well that's what I heard, I don't really know. After 29 games, they haven't touched 100 points. If they went into overtime, they still wouldn't touch 100.
This week in the NFL:
Dallas at Detroit > Advantage - Cowboys
Now really, who'd watch this game? Oh, Matt Millen.
New England at Carolina > Advantage - Patriots
I haven't seen enough Panthers games. Can you blame me?
Kansas City at Seattle > Advantage - Seahawks
The Seabags aren't going to the playoffs. Maybe they should have made Trent Dilfer the starter this season.
NY Jets at Oakland > Advantage - Raiders
[Clears throat] J! E! T! S! SUCK! SUCK! SUCK! Sorry, but as a Dolphin fan, I hope they choke on the bones the Raider fans will throw on the field.
This week in the NHL:
Anaheim @ Detroit - Jan. 2
I don't know why ESPN put this game on their Wednesday Night Hockey broadcast schedule this year. Makes no sense to me seeing the Mighty Ducks are last in the Pacific.
Florida @ Anaheim - Jan. 4
I have to watch this game ... Florida's up and coming, so maybe this will be a blowout. Maybe.
Nashville @ Columbus - Jan. 6
A couple of the last expansion teams [Atlanta and Minnesota being the others] will face off.
This week in the NBA:
Any team vs Miami
No comment, just too painful.
Los Angeles Lakers at Denver - Jan. 2
The only way Denver loses this game is if the Lakers forfeit due to lack of competition.
Chicago at Washington - Jan. 4
"What's on Friday?," said Michael Jordan. Knowing he has to face his old team, and knowing he has to beat them like they stole something.
This week's bowl games:
Oklahoma vs Arkansas - Jan. 1 [Cotton Bowl]
Maybe the Sooners should sue the BCS.
Florida State vs Virginia Tech - Jan. 1 [Gator Bowl]
This one should be easy ... for Virginia Tech.
Don't worry, the bowl season is almost over. For you Alka-Seltzer users, you can stop taking them after January 3.